 BarnitaI'd like to tell you that I'm bright and intelligent, but I can't, cos I'm not. So, with no further ado- hers the blog of an ordinary human of average intelligence, average looks and extraordinary laziness.
Whose world begins and ends with her nephew Aryan.
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Saturday, January 06, 2007
There is so much beauty in my every waking (guess who wakes me up and how!!!) that I feel the urge to stop for a while and quit cribbing. With each new step Aryan learns to take, I feel like I learn something new. As I watch him and study his expressions each time he learns something new - I forget how miserable I am. How menial my job feels. How tiring the long commute to work is. ANd I suddenly feel awe for the most basic acts I perform. Side by side, for an hour or so - cos thats all the time work permits, we learn to fit blocks to blocks and circles to circles. We discover how amazing simple songs are and how very many ways there are to simply wave our hands in rythm or bob up and down. And the look of pure delight each new discovery, each new movement, each new sound creates on his face! I don't know how I crib. I have no right to crib. But its second nature. This cribbing habit. Because practically everything feels wrong. Cept when I look at Aryan. For the one hour before I run off to work. Only problem is - he makes me feel so old!!! Lol - but thats fine too. Paula Mashi!!!! Yay!!!! Feels good to be alive! Wow! Have I ever said that before? EVER?
Posted at Saturday, January 06, 2007 by Barnita
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January 14, 2007 06:00 PM PST
sorry to read that - you sound so sad
and i feel worried - it isn't good to live through others, even if those others are just babies...
yes, you're right - babies learn to live and therefore teach us things, we should know - you can see "information processing" in clarity and that's fascinating and can give you a distance which may help you through hard times. Look at me, it's my receipe to stand developments i know they might kill us all ;-)
but please, don't use it to not do what you now seem to have to do: check your own life, your own wishes and dreams and goals and priorities...
you have to know who you are - and how your abilities and possibilites are to manage your life - at least as much as possible according to your own goals. Try to understand yourself - try to know what you want and hate and how to get or avoid it
it's the only way you can stand your life - and the only way, you might find a compromise...
because THAT is pure nonsense: "I forget how miserable I am" - YOU ARE NOT MISERABLE, BARNITA
Period.
I fear, you are just a little too intelligent for our cultures ruled by alpha chimps - and those cultures depend on stupidity and non-human behavior. Apish culture, that's it
and the more intelligent you are, the more you don't feel "associated" and that's no wonder, i guess
don't give up, Barnita - humankind NEEDS the few people decent and responsible to survive. And if you don't do it for yourself...
do it for Aryan. HIS future lies in your hands, because the alpha chimps are simply not able to care for the future
they have to be beaten to give Aryan a chance - do you know that alpha chimps even are not able to recognize their own image in the mirror? They are the only chimps not able to do so, btw - as Nietzsche said: Power makes stupid
and human alphas are not better - look at Bush or your politicans - not able to recognize their own image, not able to see their own true colors
they kill our future, Barnita - and only we, the few "miserable" losers - are able to see that
it's our duty to protect future - and to protect Aryan
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