There is so much beauty in my every waking (guess who wakes me up and how!!!) that I feel the urge to stop for a while and quit cribbing. With each new step Aryan learns to take, I feel like I learn something new. As I watch him and study his expressions each time he learns something new - I forget how miserable I am. How menial my job feels. How tiring the long commute to work is. ANd I suddenly feel awe for the most basic acts I perform. Side by side, for an hour or so - cos thats all the time work permits, we learn to fit blocks to blocks and circles to circles. We discover how amazing simple songs are and how very many ways there are to simply wave our hands in rythm or bob up and down. And the look of pure delight each new discovery, each new movement, each new sound creates on his face! I don't know how I crib. I have no right to crib. But its second nature. This cribbing habit. Because practically everything feels wrong. Cept when I look at Aryan. For the one hour before I run off to work. Only problem is - he makes me feel so old!!! Lol - but thats fine too. Paula Mashi!!!! Yay!!!! Feels good to be alive! Wow! Have I ever said that before? EVER?

Hi guys, I know some of you are probably wondering if I'm alive or what I'm upto if I am alive. So here's a quick update for you guys. Ssssh! Don't tell anyone - but I've actually been having a good time! I mean Ma's much better now and Papa's retired and with her always - so I took off. Finally. With no great disaster.

I'm back from a lovely vacation up north. Just 15 days. But an incredible experience. I made no plans this time. Just let things happen on their own. Basically I just wanted to make it to MoonDust - a 4 day psymusic fest outside Jaipur. In the middle of the desert. In an area as large as (some say) 5 football fields. But I wouldn't know about the size of a football field anyways. So a random call for train tickets lead to a random call for a travel companion. ANd both calls were answered for a change! Unbelievable considering how lousy my luck generally is. So taking the initial easiness as a sign, I packed my backpack and set off for Delhi with an absolute stranger - a fellow blogger, an American Traveller and a beautiful person - lets just call her K. At Delhi we met some folks from the MoonDust community on Orkut. At Dhaula Kuan to catch a bus to Jaipur. ANd what lovely people! Most of them were from Bangalore. There were some Arab brothers. There were people from Hydrabad. From Delhi. Mumbai. All over the world. These folks adopted K and me on the spot and tho K left us at Jaipur - they held on to me. Even put me up with them at the fest. Amazing music, amazing people in an amazing setting with even more amazing stimulants. Sweet! I was in heaven for 3 days. Winter Demon, Aghori Tantrik, MoonSun, VectroElectro and so many more....maddening music after so many, many months. 8 months since my last party.  And 11 since the last time I tripped. 

ANd tho the festival got canned on the 3rd night - it was brilliant. My new friends and I haunted Jaipur for a couple of days drinking mad amounts of lassi in huge clay glasses, before I returned to Delhi to hang around with Jharna and Atul. Just like the good ole days - booming from morning on. But with a difference. ANd most of the difference I'm proud to say, was me. I am a better person now. I can vouch for it. We stayed at Jharna's at the Delhi Cantt - the army area - we tripped our heads off right there. With peacocks and peahens walking by in herds making that spooky "Pihu Pihu"  type of sound - flipped me inside out when I heard them the first time on mmmmmmmmm....still gives me shivers thinking of it. 

So I'm back refreshed. Focussed and keen to work. Keen to write. And read, read read. Once again I'm altered, and this time I hope its for the best. For now I'm just filled with a profound sense of peace and love for all things around me. And also for myself - thats a first. And then I get online. And I read Robert. And AGain. And UT. And B. And I feel Nemo's anger. Specially as I surf for daily news. And the universe moves to shatter my peace and quiet. I'm never reading another newspaper again or watching TV news. I don't believe a word they say. Specially after TOI wrongly printed my friend's name as an arrested peddler when the poor guy just surrendered for possession and consumption after being busted at a party. And especially of the wierd coverage they do of every bust. Most all facts are wrong. Statements are rarely verified, nor are names. Journalistic ethics...what on earth are those? No standards. No pride in doing the work right.

After my last vacation - I think we should just get world leaders together in a closed room and get em stoned and leave em to figure things out on their own for a bit. It might work better than when they're sober. Cos then they're just nasty and mean. I've had a lot of time to reflect in the past few months. And I've discovered things about myself and the world around me. I have identified and come to terms with many of my own shortcomings. And of the world around me. I can't seem to help the world in anyways except one - by making sure that all my actions, words and thoughts are filled with love for everyone around me. All I can now do is make sure everyone who comes in contact with me learns about empathy and love for all beings. Because I can't stop a war. And I can't stop the hate all around me. I can only try to spread some more - love and peace.Be good people.

Domestic Violence Act, 2005 

The new law provides an all-encompassing definition of domestic violence  including not only physical violence by the husband, such as beating or physically hurting his wife, or sexual violence like forced intercourse, but also verbal or emotional violence such as insulting the wife or preventing her from taking up a job, and even economic violence such as not allowing the wife to use her salary.

In effect from today, 26th October!  (Note -there's an ad for shadi.com on this page with a glowy-smily chickie for effect -real subtle)

The Domestic Violence Act 2005 designed to protect a wife or female live-in partner from violence at the hands of the husband or male live-in partner or his relatives, comes into force from today. Under the new law, abusive husbands and partners can land in jail and could be fined Rs 20,000.

I know I've been gone a while. But I'm back, and on such a wonderful day! There is some respite! Now all that remains is to inform women of this act, to let them know that there is some protection for them...and I think I know just the place to get started I think.

Love and peace!

Malegaon Blasts

Thirty-one people were killed and over 100 injured in two bomb blasts in Malegaon in Nashik district of Maharashtra on Friday.

I'm raging mad. Here in our beloved country, producers just do not understand the concept of after sales services or sevices of any kind. Period.  

We have been trying to get the IFB guys to come and take a look at the washing machine since sunday - but what do we get - people hanging up on us, excuses and put offs. We explain. And reexplian - there's a baby that won't stop peeing cos of the rain and who needs clean nappies and undies. We are not home post 4 pm cos we are in the hospital. We have been loyal customers since we came to India- thats er, since 1993 - last century. And everytime we have a problem these guys take forever to get around to repairs. Complains don't work. Nothing does. We find ourselves hanging on to a dead line.

And the banks!!!! My didi and jiju have a home loan from ICICI. I get this rude, nasty wake up call from a ruder, nastier woman demanding to speak to my sister. When I ask her to ease up - and speak in english (ok so I can't argue in hindi - I always loose for lack of the right words) - she yells at me some more, she won't identify herself, won't tell me how she got my number - instead she demands to know who I am and how I'm related to the person she wants to speak to!!!! Last time they called- they left my sister close to tears. And ICICI is a reputable bank. And my didi and jiju aren't even defaulters - but this is how they call up for information. And that's not the end of the story. Then this rude woman calls up the person who gave her my number and demands to know my details!!!!!!

When the cable don't work and you call em - they respond just as rudely. If your net connection is down - expect the same sort of lack of manners when you ask for the repairman. You can have an AMC (annual maintainence contract) or you can still be legible for the garauntee period. Expect nothing lesser than absolute rudeness. Its pissing off. Its frustrating - especially when they let out these little laughs at your expense -amkes me wanna punch em so hard. So you log onto Google and key in the words "Indian Consumer Court" - you're rewarded with an endless stream of useless information - bottomline - it takes a minimum of a month's time to lodge a complain and then you reach the courts whenever the esteemable judicial system of the country has the time for you which is usually never before a few months pass (of course when it comes to banning or censoring anything - it takes less than a week - but thats another post altogether).

So what do Indian consumers do? What do we do? Where do we go? I have no idea - but posting this will make me feel better. Just like e-mailing ICICI and IFB makes me feel better - of course knowing that my emails will definitely be deleted before being read takes the edge off my relief a bit. Oh hell - where the fuck do I live? 

I left on vacation - my crummiest one ever. I went north, but I had to come back to Mumbai in 5 days cos my mum is ill. She got 2 kinds of malaria which have lead to multiple-organ failures of sorts. After shifting hospitals and over a week in the ICU at Leelavati - my mum is now on the ventilator and is sedated - passed out. We're all rather caught up with all of this.

I'll be back once my mum comes home. See you all then.

I spent most of today using Google Blog Search to find Mumbai blogs. When we have days like this Tueday, I get very emotional - my need to bond with my community increases - cos I guess I want to know what is going on in their head. And it made me so sad. So very sad. I'm just going to sum up some of the things I've read post - 7/11 (I hate this 7/11 title). I'm rather disturbed by the direction that many posts and comments were headed in. And the forwards in my inbox!!! Save us!!! The now famous letter from Mumbaikars and some of the articles being passed around disguised as words of inspiration and hope. Some of them are openly aggressive, others are incredibly stupid- simply a way to placate ruffled feathers - harping on and on and on about the Mumbai spirit. I've said it before and I'll say it again - WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GO ABOUT AS USUAL - so shut the fuck up.

A recurring theme in many posts, comments and letters were Bush's reaction to 9/11. He is actually being hailed here- as the Leader who did the right thing by going to war against those who understand only war. This growing aggression towards tackling terrorism is not healthy. I still believe in the Mahatma's ways. I wish people would take the pains to do some online research and learn of America's motives for war before spreading their rave reviews of the"Defender of the Free world" for millions to read and be influenced by. Applauding Bush da bastard - hah. He was not protecting his people, and even if he was- he had no right to bring death to the thousands of Iraqis and Afghans. Like Israel has no right to wreck havoc in Palestine or Lebanon. Just like we have no right to bring more violence into the lives of Pakisthanis for the actions of some terrorists. No matter what - we are still one people. We were born on the sub-continent, we share ancestors -somewhere down the line- they started following the Prophet and that is the only difference. You want to be completely stoopid? Then lets remember who the real culprits behind the Indo-Pak tiff are - the Brits. You want to blame someone illogically for 7/11 -then be completely senseless - blame the Brits - Divide and Rule was their idea.  

Though I am angry at the Indian leadership, my anger is not because they do not violate Pakisthan to 'avenge' Indian terror victims (the hatred in this link made my stomach turn). I am angry at their lethargy in saving lives. I'm angry at their corruption and the lack of resources to tend to emergencies. I don't blame Dr. Singh's lack of aggression - I applaud it. I applaud his patience, and his self-control, and I will not label his caution as lack of feeling for the Indian population. His restraint is preventing bigger issues - like another Kargil, including nukes this time. 

What angers me however - is that after dealing with years of covert Paki aggression (if thats what you want to call it)- we still do not know how to react to terror strikes. We still don't know how to minimize damage. After having Indian transports attacked repeatedly, we still do not have stand by fire brigades or ambulances at railway stations. Not even after Godhra? When we have seen our capacity for violence against our own people, our compatriots - knowing completely well that not only does India have to deal with an external enemy - but we also have to be on the gaurd for flare ups within our nation between various religious groups, between various castes within the same religion, between various socio-lingual groups - how can we still not have better emergency ops, why does it still take so long for help to get to the victims?

If we must blame someone- let us learn to blame ourselves as well - the voters for not pressurizing our administration to provide us with means to minimize the effects of riots and explosions and mobs and ..... for never actually questioning the corrruption that is rotting the very core of the Indian democracy, at every level and every turn. Even encouraging this disease because we are always looking for the easy way out of scrapes and the easiest way to live life in a world where greasing palms is often the only way to get things done. We have allowed our leaders to settle into this mode of functioning - easy come- easy go - and please please, fill your bank account while you serve us. The opposition too does a beautifully inadequate job of taking on the leaders - their violent mobbing and abusing at both, the street and legislative level - is simply too primitive and rural to believe. We must be the only country in the world where MPs throw footwear at each other and openly abuse and threaten each other. In the end, they don't achieve their goals or do anything to help us with ours. The only time we realize that this country is a democracy is when we go to sell our votes.

Terrorists have been a problem that independent India has dealt with (or rather, not really 'dealt with', 'put up with' is a better expression) since the beginning. We have lost thousands to it. Just as thousands of militants and Paki troops have died at the hands of Indians. We can't ever call it square and ignore the issue.

Its ridiculous, but the right thing to do would be call the shots on Musharraf. He has been broadcasting his support for Bush's war on terror. He's been saying that Pakistan provides no support to Islamic extremists. Ask him to allow UN forces [and maybe Indian forces(dream on)] into the country on a seek and destroy mission of sorts including in POK. Yes- this sounds like the foolish imaginings of a demented mind - but anything is better than risking civilian lives - of any nationality.

If anything, take pride in being Indian. Take pride in our history of non-violence. Non-violence may be a slow process- but it is the only right way to do things. In the meanwhile, since we can't combat terrorism, for violence begets more violence, we can only harass our government for better recue and relief, for more security at public places, octroi nakas, check nakas, transport hubs and in business districts especially for a period of 6 months after explosives, arms or ammunitions are found. Just to be safe.

There are a lot more options to explore before crying "WAR" and "ATTACK", you'll say that we have explored all possible avenues, but really - we haven't. Our politicians have looked at the best ways to sort the issue and benefit from it. And the instigators among us pretend to have, but really, you and me, the general public of India- we haven't really, have we?

And if any of you self-righteous Hindus are reading this post - I just have one thing to say to you - you can label Muslims monsters and call them all the nasty things you want on your blogs - but don't you dare try that shit on my blog- I will delete you.